When I was little I wanted to be Indiana Jones. I don’t mean that I wanted to be an archeologist. I mean I actually wanted to be Indiana Jones. Smart, witty, willing to get his hands dirty (“If you want to be a good archaeologist, you gotta get out of the library”), cynical, romantic. He created his own persona and then lived it. Growing up, there were no really badass women characters to emulate—eventually Lara Croft emerged and despite loving her I knew even at age 10 that she was a sex symbol. That took something very important away from her. (I would argue that sex symbol status is different from sexiness. In the former it’s something placed upon you, usually with the intent to commodify, where as sexiness is something you control and actively take ownership of. It comes from within rather than from external sources and can be independent of normative standards of beauty. But I digress.)
Then after that, I just assumed I would be a “businesswoman.” I didn’t really know what that meant, outside of collecting frequent flyer miles and playing golf on Sundays. That’s actually what I thought it mostly was, although I did have a basic understanding that between those I would have to go to the “office” and “work.” But those were abstract terms that I couldn’t visualize, even after going to “Take Your Daughter to Work” days at JP Morgan in Manhattan. Forget the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, this is how I know that I grew up in the shadow of 1990s Wall Street.
And now I’m grown up and I’m not sure what I want to do. Business has changed dramatically since my dad was teaching me to play golf so I wouldn’t miss out on informal business deals (thank god. I’m terrible at golf). I have two English degrees. I’m an INFP so naturally I want to save the world, although I’m not sure how. Mostly, I just want to run and read and write. The new “three Rs.”
This is ok for now, I think. I am giving myself a new mission.
It is to open myself up to opportunities, until I can figure out my next steps.
So I am learning how to invest. I am learning how to use my DSLR. I finally started a training plan leading up to my next 50K in October, to improve my running. I am taking a nutrition course online and actually paying attention. I am also working on my writing. By doing it. And again, by taking an online course.
I like online courses. Yesterday on NPR Laura Linney said, if I could stay in school forever I probably would (I’m paraphrasing). I feel the same way. I probably need to expand my horizons. Life is school, not the other way around. I keep telling myself I’m going to go out there and take photographs! Wherever there is.
James Altucher just wrote about PMA. Prepare, Make it happen, Accept the outcome. I need to PMA!
One day I will stop thinking, oh that is a good idea of James Altucher’s, and actually put his ideas into practice. Hey, maybe one day I’ll be Indiana Jones.